Words That Start with 'M'

The Girl and The Boy started back to school this past week. I am sure they are loving being with their friends and doing all sorts of fun activities, and of course Mommy is loving only having one non-mobile child at home with her :) The Girl had her very first homework assignment sent home to her to complete over the weekend: Cut out 3 pictures from magazines of things that begin with the letter 'M.' So, fast forward to today... we were shopping in Wal-mart, my brigade of children and I. The Girl had the great idea to start naming things that start with 'M.'

"Mouse."

"Magazine."

"Mushrooms."

Great, fine and dandy. It kept everyone happy and occupied for 20 minutes. Then Bitty began crying which alerted me to the full stinky diaper he was wearing. So we made our way back to the restroom.

"Marbles."

"Meat."

"Marshmallows."

And of course the bathrooms were being cleaned. So there were benches back there and so being the resourceful army wife I am, I used them as a makeshift changing table(yes I did have a blanket and a changing pad lol.) I noticed there was another family sitting on the opposite wall from us, but I was too busy to take not of any specifics about them.

Just then The Girl yells out, "MEXICANS!!!"

*Me looking over and realizing that the lovely sweet family is of hispanic decent and wondering if there was anyway they could have not heard that*

"That starts with M, right Mommy?"

*Me trying to hush her as quickly as possible and try to somehow camoflage myself into the wooden chair*

"Mommy, did you hear me? MEXICAN?!?!?! Did I get one?"

"Shhhhhh, (whispering now) Yes sweetie, Mexican does start with M, good job. Shhhhh"

"Ok, YAY!!! I told you(yelling at The Boy) that I knew it was Mexican!! Mexican, Mexican!!"

*me trying to figure out my plan of escape from this torturous moment*

The very nice sweet family gets up, walks by us, sweetly looks over at me and my beautiful children... and gives me the stare of death.


Just another trip to Wal-mart for us.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

- This week I did not run out of bug spray so I did not use what every resourceful mom uses to kill ants... Windex! lol

- I did not take my stressful week out on my husband, who of course has a much more stress-filled week that I do. I mean it's not like I am in a war zone or anything! Sheesh! I would never get snippy with him(and yes he finally called me back... we talked for TWO hours yesterday!)

- I did NOT eat pizza for dinner, then for lunch AND dinner the next day. Nope. Not I said the fly.

- I most certainly did NOT keep my kids up an hour after their bedtime just to go get free root beer floats at Sonic.

- And I of course I would never tease them and tell them that root beer floats had onions in them since they had never had them before. And I did not feel kinda bad when they almost started crying and whining that they didn't want to eat onions LOL (Don't worry... they got their non-onion-filled floats and loved them)

- I have NOT taken over 1,000 pictures in one week with my new T1i. That would be In. Sane.

- And I would never drizzle chocolate syrup on my cereal. Just because I'm a grown-up and I can. Nope.

;)

Overheard

Background Info: We just bought a 12 ft poot for the backyard. (And as a side note... I love how I still always say 'we' even though GI Joe in no way had anything to do with this purchase since he is 10,000 miles away... heck he doesn't even know we have it yet. Although he did supply the money for said purchase... Thanks babe!) It's one of those big ones that you have a filter for and it's chlorinated etc.

The Scene: The Boy and I went outside this morning to check on the pool since we just filled it up with water last night.

Me: Ewwwww honey, look... the birds pooped on our pool!
The Boy: EWWWWWW Mommy thats gross!!
Me: I know! Why do birds always try to poop on things? Like target practice??
The Boy: I don't know Mommy... but we should ask my sister... she goes to school.

Sadly, I don't think the topic of avian bowel movements are typical preschool topics.

Overheard

I totally forgot to blog this, so here goes...

The Scene: Sitting in the van in a parking lot while I am nursing Bitty. The Boy is playing in the back seat, talking.

The Boy: Mommy...whacha doin'?
Me: Feeding your baby brother. Sit down please.
The Boy: Oh. I see. Booby.... Booby. Booby. Booby!
Me: Shhhh you don't need to yell that out.
The Boy: I just like saying booby. Booby booby.
Me: Shhhhhhh....
The Boy: I just can't help it... one more time, I... have... to... say... it... BOOBY! Ok I'm done.

Seriously... where does this kid get this stuff???

Not Me Monday

Well, it's Monday again. Back for some more honest-to-goodness things I did NOT do this week. Head on over to MckMama's for more Not Me Monday fun!

-I did NOT seriously consider using a pantiliner as a makeshift breastpad when I unexpectedly started leaking milk during dinner at Chili's this weekend. Bitty sleeping + I had lots of milk + Another baby started crying = A big ol' wet spot on the front of my shirt. (Don't worry... I didn't actually use it... seriously... I did NOT... I mean really I didn't. Man it's hard to be truthful in these posts LOL)

-I most certainly did NOT take pictures of The Girl crying after she fell down on her bike and was so cute crying. Don't worry, she wasn't hurt.(Physically at least, I think her pride was!) But boy did she get mad at me for photographing her! LOL I think I heard something along the lines of, "I DON'T WANT YOU TAKING PICTURES OF ME WHILE I AM ANGRY!!!"

-And I of course would NEVER post said picture on my blog! NEVER!

-I would never ever again procrastinate on ANOTHER class! NOPE! I would never wait AGAIN until the class is almost over to start it. I have learned my lesson!

-I would never tell my children that candy DOTS are too chewy for them to eat just because I wanted to eat them.

-I did NOT shove a laundry basket(or two) of clean, unfolded clothes into my closet because I didn't have time to fold them and put them away before my mom came into town. Nope! I am ALWAYS on top of laundry for my family. I would never ever let it pile up and *gasp* leave it in the laundry basket for a few days, er, weeks?

Hope you enjoyed these! I am sure there IS NOT any more things I did not do this week and I didn't have to shorten my list. LOL What are some of your Not Me's? Post your link for me to read! :)

Overheard

The Girl and The Boy were watching TV this afternoon. Some cartoon comes on about outer space and aliens and all of that. The Boy starts asking me questions.

The Boy: Where is that water on tv?
Me: It's just a cartoon honey, there isn't any water in outer space. All the water is here on Earth, in the oceans and lakes and...
The Boy: So what about the aliens? What do they drink?
Me: Well, there is no such thing as aliens honey. At least the astronauts haven't found any that are anywhere near here.
The Boy: I know where the aliens are. Kansas.

Not Me Monday

Hi there! Back for some more honest-to-goodness things I did NOT do this week. Head on over to MckMama's for more Not Me Monday fun!

-I most certainly did NOT let The Boy pick up and eat one of his Chicken Nuggets off the ground just to prevent a tantrum from him because he was so hungry. YUCK. I would never let my kid do that.

-I also did NOT wipe Bitty's boogery nose with his blanket and then forget I did that and wrap him up with said blanket. Then when I picked him up I did NOT get boogers all over my forearm. That would be disgusting!

-I also would NEVER let The Boy drink 3 Capri-Suns and eat 2 GoGurts just so he would stop bugging me while I was trying to take a nap while Bitty was sleeping. That would just be wrong!

-I also did not doodle my full name about a bajillion times while talking to GI Joe on the phone. And doodle his name. And then draw little hearts everywhere. That is so juvenile.

-And of course I would never quickly chew 3 pieces of mint gum on the way to Bible Study to try to cover up for the fact that I left the house after forgetting to brush my teeth. I am always so well organized and never would forget something like that.

-And finally, I did NOT spill my soda all over my front porch while walking out the door this morning. And then while trying to pick up the empty can I certainly did NOT get my heel stuck in the mud and then stumble onto the sidewalk while juggling a purse, diaper bag, keys, cell phone and car seat. I am a lady of course, always graceful and poised. ;)

What My Life Consists Of At The Moment...

LOTS AND LOTS of This:

And then I came into The Boy's room after doing above and found my lovely older children had dubbed Bitty "The King" and had created a throne around him:


This is what my day encompassed. (Along with laundry, dishes, cooking, taking to and from school, changing diapers, nursing, cleaning up play-doh, a board meeting for my women's group, a luncheon, etc... God help me to BE STILL and hear you in the silence...) I'm excited to see what tomorrow holds. LOL

Overheard

The Scene: Driving home from picking up The Girl from school.

Me: So, baby girl, what did you do at school today?
The Girl: We watched bamboo.

(I begin to think maybe they are doing some sort of spring plants/growing unit and they learned about how bamboo grows etc.)

Me: Bamboo? Oh yeah? What did you learn about bamboo?
The girl: You know, the one with the deer.

(I'm a little puzzled, and then I realize what she is talking about)

Me: Ohhhh no sweetie, that is Bambi, not bamboo.

Overheard

The scene: I was on the computer paying some bills online when Bitty Boy started to cry. He was in the swing, woke up after a 5 minute nap and I was going to let him fuss for a couple minutes to see if he would go back to sleep. The Boy was playing with playdoh at the table behind me. He gets up and walks over to me and is very serious.

The Boy: Mommy, Bitty is crying.
Me: I know sweetie, he is fussy. He needs to go back to sleep.
The Boy: No Mommy, you need to get him. I just can't deal with him right now.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Today was a beautiful day, excluding the fact that it was incredibly humid. But, instead of having the kids cooped up at home all day,(in the AC, where I belong... the humidity and I are not friends) I decided to meet up with one of my friends and her kids at the local HUMONGO park. I amazingly had never been there. It was like the Disneyland of neighborhood parks for kids. It was right on Post(thats the Base for you Navy/Marine Corps peeps) and the kids LOVED it. It had about 10 different huge climbing structures, monkey bars a-plenty and the entire ground was soft foam rubber. It was all enclosed with a fence also! Ah perfect. We took some chairs and sat and enjoyed the briefly overcast sky until the sun came out and made everyone super sweaty.

Well, right next to the playground was a skate park. Where tons of sk8r bois were hanging out. Due to the increase in sunny-ness(yes, I also like to make up words... GI Joe is rubbing off on me after 11 years), one teenage boy decided to take his shirt off to beat the heat. Watching this whole scene is The Boy and his 3.5 year old friend J. The two little boys think this shirtless skater is amusing and intriguing and begin calling him "The Naked Guy." Now this would all be just fine and dandy, normal preschool humor, except for the fact that "Naked Guy" decided to come skate right next to the playground, WELL within earshot of the two boys. As soon as the skateboarder rolls closer, they say:

"Hey, look at Naked Guy."
"Wow. Why are you naked, Naked Guy?"
"Hi Naked Guy. Whatcha doing Naked Guy?"
"Naked Guy is skating. You're naked."
"Look at him be naked."
"Naked Guy. Guy guy guy. Naked naked naked."

Meanwhile my friend and I are trying not-so-successfully to stifle our overflowing laughter and look away so Naked Guy doesn't see us laughing at him. I think every muscle in my upper body cramped up from laughing so hard. *Note to self-- need to work out ASAP*

The little boys just went on and on like this for a good 10 minutes until Naked Guy finally got the hint and decided to don his shirt once again. I love childhood innocence and candor.

Overheard

So today is The Boy's 4th birthday. The kids' little friend from down the street came over and I told her that The Boy's birthday was today. She ran in the house towards him.

Friend: "Wow! How old are you now??"

The Boy: "Wait for it... take a bow... I am FOUR!!"


Comedic timing cannot be taught, you must be born with it...

Overheard

The Girl and I were watching Tv while I was feeding Bitty. Her favorite show, What Not To Wear. I know... gotta teach the kid that structured jackets really help define shape, accessories really make the outfit, buy some good quality basic pieces... but I digress.

All of a suddent a commercial comes on for some Olay product/wrinkle creme. The Girl is entranced with it. After it is over she turns and looks at me.

The Girl: Mommy, do you have some of that Olay?
Me: No Honey, I don't think so.
The Girl: You should get some.
Me: Why, do I need it?
The Girl: Yeah for your lines.
Me: (Thinking, hoping, PRAYING she explains herself...) For what lines, Sweetie?
The Girl: The ones on the palms of your hands.

Ahhh. Sigh of relief. I mean, I am Army Wife ALMOST Grown Up. I wouldn't want to have to change my blog title or anything... yet. LOL

Overheard

I love reading Rachel's little posts about things she has overheard from her 5 energetic kids. Here is one from The Boy from about 5 minutes ago.

The scene: The Boy walks in from playing out back. He asks to do an art project.

Me: You can do an art project when you clean up your beads.
The Boy: But Mom. You just don't understand. I can't.
Me: Why can't you?
The Boy: Because it's just too awful. Booooooorrriiiiing.

Where is Tall Man?

We had to go to Wal-mart today and I informed the kids that this was to be a quick mission. In and out. Stay close to me and not get left behind. I like to lay down rules before we go inside somewhere. Then they have been sufficiently warned and should they disobey, they deserve the terrible wrath of Overtired Cranky Mommy. So while I was walking with Bitty Boy in the stroller, The Boy and The Girl hurry behind me. I can hear their conversations as I shop for the few things I needed. Conversations about toys and various animals and songs. Then I hear the Girl start singing "Thumbkin." You know... "Where is Thumbkin, where is Thumbkin. Here I am, here I am." Etc. And you know how they have specific hand motions for that song... well... can you see where I am going with this? My kids begin to delve into the very serious topic of Tall Man. A discussion follows about which finger "Tall Man" is and whether his name is in fact Tall Man. The Boy insists his true moniker is Tall Man. The Girl thinks his name is simply Middle Finger. The kids start arguing loudly, yelling out,
"TALL MAN!!"
"MIDDLE FINGER!!!"
"TALL MAN!!"
"MIDDLE FINGER!!!"
I turn around to tell them to be quiet and what do I see? Each of them flipping their birds very prominently at each other with scowling faces while they are yelling. I quickly grab the milk, snap something quickly at the kids in one breath that sounded like "either-name-is-fine-but-we-don't-stick-our-middle-fingers-up-in-public-because-it-means-something-not-nice-now-stop-fighting-and-let's-go!" and hurrily march toward the checkout, trying to get away from the scene of the crime.

I finally think we are in the clear when suddenly at the checkout The Girl starts in again, "Where is Thumbkin, where is Thumbkin..."

Excuse Me Mommy!

Bitty Boy had his 2 month checkup today. And he's not so bitty anymore... he has almost doubled his birth weight. My teeny 7lb 3 oz guy has grown to a whopping 14lbs 3 oz. (Maybe we should call him Beefy Boy..??) He is also 23 inches too, which explains why he is now fitting in his 3-6 month clothes. He got 3 shots and I think I cried harder than he did... I really don't like seeing my little ones in pain. Of course I had The Boy with me also, and he decided to be a pain-in-the-yes-you-know-where the whole time. So when his baby brother had to get shots, he just HAD to climb all over Mommy(while I was trying to hold Bitty's arms down and console the poor pin cushion) just to see if he could see any "blood squirting outta his legs from the holes in the shots." Ah, good times, good times.

Well, for those who may not know, Bitty has reflux which causes him to spit up more than usual. He also has a very hard time sleeping and is just generally fussy and fidgety from being in pain from stomach acid creeping up his esophagus. So we had to get a refill of his 'script while we were there. While I was talking to the pharmacist and holding Bitty because he was still upset from his shots, I hear The Boy behind me.

"Excuse me! Excuse me Mommy!"
Honey, just a sec, Mommy is talking to the Pharmacist.
"Excuse me!! EXCUSE ME! MOMMY!"
What Honey, what is so important that you need to tell me right now?
"Um, I farted 78 times. Excuse me."


*sigh* At least he said excuse me.

Mommy, Is Fashion a Bad Word?

So last week, I walked in on the Girl looking at herself in the mirror in the bathroom. She was posing and making pretty faces in the mirror. Then she hikes up her polka dotted dress and I hear these terrible words exit from her sweet little lips: "I'm SOOOoooo sexy..."

*Gulp*

I think my mouth literally dropped to the floor. I had to bend down and pick it up and roll it back into place. As my ears heard what she said, I could sense my inner self screaming out, "NOOOOooooo!!!!!!"

Now, keep in mind she is only 4 1/2. She really has no idea what that word implies. So I sat down with her and asked her where she heard that. Suprise surprise. A certain little girl at school. Now, I am not one to make judgements on people, but I believe it is safe to say that this certain little girls mother thats A LOT of pride on being the SEXIEST(aka most likely to have stepped out of the local strip club) mom in the daycare center. This basically means she wears things that are more appropriate for Barbies, and not for a grown woman who has plenty she needs to cover up.

So the Girl and I had along talk about why that word is NOT appropriate and that just because a certain someone says something, that doesn't mean she is allowed to repeat those things.

Fast forward to this morning... circa 8am.

"Mom, is fashion a bad word?"

No honey fashion is not a bad word. Why did you think that?

"Because I heard from [insert certain someone's name] and I wasn't sure if I should say it."

Ah. Ding ding ding. Something actually stuck! Little moments like that which help make a mom feel a little less of a repetitive robot squawking life instructions between serving mac and cheese and wiping poopy butts.

I turn around and what do I see? The Girl posing in the mirror saying, "Look, I'm SOOOO FASHION!!"

*shrug*