Best Shot Monday

Here ya go folks... it's Monday again. Time for BSM. Head over to Tracey's to check out other great shots.

Mine is a picture of Bitty, just enjoying his crib. Peacefully. You know, before he realizes my boob isn't in his mouth giving him a continual supply of milk.

Enjoying My Babies and the Amazing Story of Bitty Boy

My friend Vera's post about enjoying her girls really made me think this week about enjoying every moment with my kids while they are young, because some day they will grown up and won't want to snuggle with me on the couch or have me rock them to sleep. These past few days I have been getting in extra snuggles with my babies, just taking mental snapshots(along with many many digital ones!) of how they are at this exact moment in their lives, and telling them how very special and loved they are by me, their Daddy and by Jesus. I told The Girl that God made her so very special, and she wanted me to name off all the ways she was special LOL! Ahhh a girl after my own heart... Words of Affirmation is her Love Language!

Bitty especially I have just been trying to soak up every ounce of his babyness he has. I feel like it passed by so quickly with the older two that I just want to savor it with him. They grow up so fast. Oh how I wish I could just make it stop sometimes. I do very much love watching my children mature and become their own little people with personalities and humor, but babies... ahhh babies.... they are just the sweetest little glimpses of heaven. I often find myself just breathing in Bitty... kissing his soft cheek ever so gently... telling him how much his Mama loves him. All babies are mircles.

He especially is a miracle.

GI Joe and I had TTC(tried to conceive) for about 5 months before we became pregnant with Bitty Boy. I had suffered a miscarriage the month prior, so we were both very apprehensive about the new pregnancy. I worried over every ache and pain, prayed constantly that this new little life would thrive and continue to grow inside of me.

As the date of our 20 week ultrasound grew closer, GI Joe and I were excited that we had passed the crucial stages of pregnancy loss. We were looking forward to finding out the gender of our newest blessing that Thursday morning. During the ultrasound, the technician was very quiet and didn't say much. I was a little worried but I chocked it up to my normal apprension. I saw her measure something in the baby's brain, which I didn't remember from my other two pregnancies. After she was done and we found out we were expected another boy(GI Joe was elated! More soldiers to protect his princess lol) I asked if everything was ok. Oh yes she said... but she needed to go talk with the doctor to see if he wanted to take a closer look at anything.

That's when I knew something wasn't right.

I got scared and I asked GI Joe if he thought everything was ok. I told him they didn't do that with the other two(because of his job, he wasn't able to make it to the other kids' ultrasounds.) I remember feeling so scared, but then the tech came back in and said we could go. I still felt uneasy, but I tried to brush it off and just rejoice in a "healthy" baby boy.

The joy was short lived though, unfortunately.

Tuesday morning rolled around and I was(Thank GOD!) on my way to bible study. I received a call from the doctor who had some upsetting news. There was a choroid plexus cyst on the baby's brain. She told me that sometimes this means nothing and for me to try to stay calm. Yeah right. I asked her what it could possibly mean. She said it could be Trisomy 18, a very serious and fatal condition. She informed me that I needed to make an appointemt with a specialist and get a Level II ultrasound to see if there were any additional markers and to take a closer look at the cyst.

Oh God no was all I could pray.

I tried calling GI Joe. He was out on the field and I couldn't get ahold of him. I left him a sobbing message on his voicemail to call me right away.

I continued praying and driving to bible study. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it inside. By the GRACE OF GOD, my very best friend was late to bible study and she was still in the parking lot. She saw me upset and I told her what happened. She said we needed to go inside and find some prayer warriors and get to work.

Praise and worship time never touched so deep. It is well with my soul. Blessed be Your name. The words pierced me.

After the music, I went up for special prayer and these wonderful annointed ladies laid hands on my belly and prayed fervently for Bitty. I just sobbed and sobbed.

They prayed for His will to be done and for GI Joe and I to have the peace that passes all understanding.

And instantly the peace washed over me.

I was still afraid, yes. Still worried, yes. Still aching for my baby. YES.

But at peace with it. Peaceful knowing it was His will, whatever happens. His will that THIS CHILD was ours. He was our baby boy, no matter what he had or didn't have. That would never change.

Finally GI Joe called me back and I told him the situation. Being the soldier he is, he wanted to know the facts, odds, percentages, options, and what our course of action would be.

But he reiterated what God has spoken to me. This was our baby. No matter what.

A VERY stressful, tiresome and PRAYERFUL 4 weeks later, we were finally at the specialist for our follow up ultrasound. (Delays due to hospital communication, getting insurance approval, records being lost, scheduling conflicts, etc led to the long wait.) GI Joe and I were so nervous. We were both so nervous and scared for our baby.

The Maternal Fetal Specialist put the transducer on my belly and there he was. Such a beautiful little baby.

They looked around. They tried one position, then another, they searched. The cyst was gone.

Not smaller, not larger, it hadn't moved. It was gone. PRAISE BE TO GOD!!

I looked at my husband and our eyes just welled up. It was incredible. This baby boy was going to be born healthy. God had healed him!

He is our little miracle.

Our little miracle is now 4 months old. And his mama is trying to soak up every last little bit of his babyness while it lasts...

Status Update

Wow I hadn't realized it had been almost a week since I had blogged! I suppose "real" life has caught up with me. I have been actively trying to spend more time with the kids doing fun stuff, rather than studying, homework, housework, etc. So we have been playing outside a lot, riding bikes and going places.

Over Memorial Day weekend, we had an awesome chapel service at the local lake, where about 10 people were baptized. It was so stormy, but God showed His awesomeness again, and allowed the clouds to part for a few hours so the serivce could go on as planned. Even the Chaplain said during the sermon that he was "one of little faith" because he didn;t think we would be able to have the outdoor service with all the severe weather. But it was so beautiful, special and meaningful. And we even had a chance to go swimming in the lake after that for a couple hours. The kids loved it... even Bitty! Poor guy is so chubby he was too big for his brand new 6 month swimsuit and rash guard. So I had to go buy him a TWELVE MONTH one! The boy is only 3 months old! :) And of course I forgot the camera. I know. I have already scolded myself lol!

Then on Monday, the pools on Post opened for the season so we were one of the first families there! We all had a great time! I was suprised at how calm and easy it was with 3 kids by myself sans GI Joe. It was nice because my friend and her 2 kids were there also, so it was nice having another adult there to supervise during potty breaks, nursing Bitty breaks, changing Bitty breaks, etc etc etc.

So I suppose my status is:
-Spending more time with kids(Which will hopefully equal a tan for my pasty legs)
-Algebra OVER! I pulled an A! YEAH!(Now I just need to pass Govt 2...)
-GI Joe doing good. (He needs me to send him large paint brushes to clean his weapon??? lol)
-Kids doing well and getting bigger by the day
-House getting cleaned as soon as I am done with this post because my mom is visiting tomorrow! MUST HAVE HOUSE SPOTLESS. LOL :)

Just One of Those Days....

Today was a hard day. Just one of those days that I really miss my husband. Someone to lean on. Someone to give me a backrub after a long day. Someone to commiserate with. lol

Bitty has been extra fussy the past few days and today was the epitome of that. I spent a totaly of 8 hours trying to get him to nap and fall asleep today. I am exhausted, physically and mentally. It's one of those days where you make ramen for the kids for dinner, don't brush your teeth until 4pm and snap at your kids because you literally have no patience left.

I love the little guy, I do. He is one of the sweetest things ever. His sweet smile and little asian eyes just make my heart melt. But he really is a high needs baby sometimes. He thrives on a schedule and it is so hard to keep him on one when I am a busy, involved temporarily-single mommy of three.

And just typing out that he is difficult makes me feel like a terrible mommy.

But thanks to a few very special friends, I feel a bit better about saying that. So here is my shout out to Kristy, Karla, Celia and Vera. Thanks for cheering me up ladies. :)

So Bitty is finally sleeping. For how long, I have no idea. But I am off to head to bed and try to get at least some semblance of a night's sleep. I'm leaving the dishes in the sink(shhh don't tell FlyLady! lol) and leaving the laundry in piles on the floor of the laundry room(and my bedroom... and the hallway....) and I will get to that tomorrow.

But for now, I am off to kiss my babies to sleep and tuck myself in bed.

Goodnight room. Goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon...

Sheep or Goat?

Happy Sunday to you all... it was especially happy for me since Bitty actually SLEPT last night, PRASE GOD!! lol 6.5 hours straight. But of course deployment insomnia struck AGAIN and I was up until 1:45am. I literally laid in bed staring at the ceiling for 2 hours. Oh how I wish I had the flexibility to kick myself in the head because my newborn was sleeping soundly and I could not fall asleep! Oh well. I eventually got about 7 hours of broken sleep. That's all I need to function lol.

I attend a non-denominational Chapel service on Post here. Which let me tell you, is AWESOME. I was raised Lutheran, but now I consider myself just a plain ol' Christian. I am a lover and follower of Jesus, not a denomination or "religion." (Oh how I dislike that term...)

But Chapel today was great! It started off by us arriving 10 minutes early. YES! Score one for the temporarily-single Mommy of 3 young kids! In the parking lost was a big white bus AKA Soldier-Mover. When i got inside the Chapel, I saw about 30 soldiers dressed in ACUs(Army Combat Uniforms) sitting in the pews. A lot of them looked younger, and most were lower ranking. I wondered why they were there... maybe a break from a field exercise for service? I dunno.

During the service the Chaplain asked who were newcomers and who was about to be deployed. Well all these soldiers raised their hands that they were about to go to Iraq. We as a congregation, prayed for them. The sermon was about Matthew 25:31-46.

31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

He posed the question... which are we? A sheep or a goat? Are we REAL Christians or just fakes? Or have we turned our back on God and tried to run away? Or have we just never really known God?

Then the worship team started singing. And those soldiers started praying. And weeping. They came upto the alter by the dozens. Kneeling at the foot of the cross. Laying all their worries and fears at his feet.

I had goosebumps.

The sight of these young soldiers, brave and honorable, about to march off to war, afraid of what the future holds for them, now kneeling to our King and giving their fears and uncertainties to Him, was just overwhelming to me and many of the other Army wives in attendance.

They made their choice. Today, those soldiers made a decision.

They want to be sheep.

I want to be a sheep.

What My Life Consists Of At The Moment...

LOTS AND LOTS of This:

And then I came into The Boy's room after doing above and found my lovely older children had dubbed Bitty "The King" and had created a throne around him:


This is what my day encompassed. (Along with laundry, dishes, cooking, taking to and from school, changing diapers, nursing, cleaning up play-doh, a board meeting for my women's group, a luncheon, etc... God help me to BE STILL and hear you in the silence...) I'm excited to see what tomorrow holds. LOL

Best Shot Monday

EEK Sorry I haven't posted in a week... life with 3 kids is crazy!

My shot for Best Shot Monday... I was trying to take pictures of the kids in their "Easter" clothes this Sunday for church, and this was one of those in-between shots. You know, while I was trying to get them situated, smiling etc. They just both loved on Bitty and it was too sweet to not take the picture. I love my Brats. :)

Check out more BSM shots over at Tracey's.

World's Cutest Baby

I know, I'm a little biased. ;)

Excuse Me Mommy!

Bitty Boy had his 2 month checkup today. And he's not so bitty anymore... he has almost doubled his birth weight. My teeny 7lb 3 oz guy has grown to a whopping 14lbs 3 oz. (Maybe we should call him Beefy Boy..??) He is also 23 inches too, which explains why he is now fitting in his 3-6 month clothes. He got 3 shots and I think I cried harder than he did... I really don't like seeing my little ones in pain. Of course I had The Boy with me also, and he decided to be a pain-in-the-yes-you-know-where the whole time. So when his baby brother had to get shots, he just HAD to climb all over Mommy(while I was trying to hold Bitty's arms down and console the poor pin cushion) just to see if he could see any "blood squirting outta his legs from the holes in the shots." Ah, good times, good times.

Well, for those who may not know, Bitty has reflux which causes him to spit up more than usual. He also has a very hard time sleeping and is just generally fussy and fidgety from being in pain from stomach acid creeping up his esophagus. So we had to get a refill of his 'script while we were there. While I was talking to the pharmacist and holding Bitty because he was still upset from his shots, I hear The Boy behind me.

"Excuse me! Excuse me Mommy!"
Honey, just a sec, Mommy is talking to the Pharmacist.
"Excuse me!! EXCUSE ME! MOMMY!"
What Honey, what is so important that you need to tell me right now?
"Um, I farted 78 times. Excuse me."


*sigh* At least he said excuse me.

Palm Sunday: A Time for Birthdays, Easter Eggs and M4 Sherman Tanks???

Ah yes, Palm Sunday. It was on Palm Sunday back in 2004 that The Girl crawled for the first time... to a Pepsi can. But in all seriousness, Palm Sunday marks the beginning of Holy Week in the Christian calendar. It is when Jesus rode into Jerusalem as the King of Kings. He was praised and loved. People shouted "Hosanna!" which means "save us." And then just one short week later, He was put to death, humiliated and beaten, spat upon like trash. What a difference a week makes.

Today started out great. We were only 5 minutes late for church(practically a record...) and they handed us those little palm fronds. I made them into little crosses like my Dad used to do for me every year(and still does when I am with him on Palm Sunday.) We sang some great worship songs and the message was very touching. Bitty Boy slept through the entire service so I really felt like I was able to have some one on one time praising the Lord, which was awesome.

Which, speaking of my Bitty Boy, he is 2 months old today!! Look how handsome my little man is! Such bright blue eyes... ahhh I'm so smitten with him! This is him in the Mai Tei carrier.

After church we did the usual trip to Burger King where my fellow army wife friends and I and all our plethora of young children go wild in the playplace. Then it was a (not-so) quick trip to Wal-mart (blech) and then we raced home. Only by the grace of God was I able to make deviled eggs in 10 minutes flat so we could be out the door and head to the Battalion Easter Egg Hunt and BBQ. It was held at the uber-military 1st Cavalry Division Museum which the Brats just L-O-V-E-D. So when it was time to search for the eggs, they were hidden among tank tracks and Howitzer canons. Ahhh such sweet childhood innocence.

Sample Size of Heaven

Wow 3 posts in one day... amazing! :)

This is the first incident of what I am going to call a Sample Size of Heaven. It's just a taste of what God's glory is all about. Just a nibble to wet our appetite. These happen all the time and I want to post them to share them with all of you. They are just short and sweet little posts.

I put Bitty Boy on my bed while I brushed my teeth and he saw the drawing that GI Joe had done for our first wedding anniversary. It's a chalk drawing of our wedding picture. Bitty Boy saw it and gave a big gummy grin. He saw his Daddy. Made my heart flutter. Sample Size of Heaven.