Enjoying My Babies and the Amazing Story of Bitty Boy

My friend Vera's post about enjoying her girls really made me think this week about enjoying every moment with my kids while they are young, because some day they will grown up and won't want to snuggle with me on the couch or have me rock them to sleep. These past few days I have been getting in extra snuggles with my babies, just taking mental snapshots(along with many many digital ones!) of how they are at this exact moment in their lives, and telling them how very special and loved they are by me, their Daddy and by Jesus. I told The Girl that God made her so very special, and she wanted me to name off all the ways she was special LOL! Ahhh a girl after my own heart... Words of Affirmation is her Love Language!

Bitty especially I have just been trying to soak up every ounce of his babyness he has. I feel like it passed by so quickly with the older two that I just want to savor it with him. They grow up so fast. Oh how I wish I could just make it stop sometimes. I do very much love watching my children mature and become their own little people with personalities and humor, but babies... ahhh babies.... they are just the sweetest little glimpses of heaven. I often find myself just breathing in Bitty... kissing his soft cheek ever so gently... telling him how much his Mama loves him. All babies are mircles.

He especially is a miracle.

GI Joe and I had TTC(tried to conceive) for about 5 months before we became pregnant with Bitty Boy. I had suffered a miscarriage the month prior, so we were both very apprehensive about the new pregnancy. I worried over every ache and pain, prayed constantly that this new little life would thrive and continue to grow inside of me.

As the date of our 20 week ultrasound grew closer, GI Joe and I were excited that we had passed the crucial stages of pregnancy loss. We were looking forward to finding out the gender of our newest blessing that Thursday morning. During the ultrasound, the technician was very quiet and didn't say much. I was a little worried but I chocked it up to my normal apprension. I saw her measure something in the baby's brain, which I didn't remember from my other two pregnancies. After she was done and we found out we were expected another boy(GI Joe was elated! More soldiers to protect his princess lol) I asked if everything was ok. Oh yes she said... but she needed to go talk with the doctor to see if he wanted to take a closer look at anything.

That's when I knew something wasn't right.

I got scared and I asked GI Joe if he thought everything was ok. I told him they didn't do that with the other two(because of his job, he wasn't able to make it to the other kids' ultrasounds.) I remember feeling so scared, but then the tech came back in and said we could go. I still felt uneasy, but I tried to brush it off and just rejoice in a "healthy" baby boy.

The joy was short lived though, unfortunately.

Tuesday morning rolled around and I was(Thank GOD!) on my way to bible study. I received a call from the doctor who had some upsetting news. There was a choroid plexus cyst on the baby's brain. She told me that sometimes this means nothing and for me to try to stay calm. Yeah right. I asked her what it could possibly mean. She said it could be Trisomy 18, a very serious and fatal condition. She informed me that I needed to make an appointemt with a specialist and get a Level II ultrasound to see if there were any additional markers and to take a closer look at the cyst.

Oh God no was all I could pray.

I tried calling GI Joe. He was out on the field and I couldn't get ahold of him. I left him a sobbing message on his voicemail to call me right away.

I continued praying and driving to bible study. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it inside. By the GRACE OF GOD, my very best friend was late to bible study and she was still in the parking lot. She saw me upset and I told her what happened. She said we needed to go inside and find some prayer warriors and get to work.

Praise and worship time never touched so deep. It is well with my soul. Blessed be Your name. The words pierced me.

After the music, I went up for special prayer and these wonderful annointed ladies laid hands on my belly and prayed fervently for Bitty. I just sobbed and sobbed.

They prayed for His will to be done and for GI Joe and I to have the peace that passes all understanding.

And instantly the peace washed over me.

I was still afraid, yes. Still worried, yes. Still aching for my baby. YES.

But at peace with it. Peaceful knowing it was His will, whatever happens. His will that THIS CHILD was ours. He was our baby boy, no matter what he had or didn't have. That would never change.

Finally GI Joe called me back and I told him the situation. Being the soldier he is, he wanted to know the facts, odds, percentages, options, and what our course of action would be.

But he reiterated what God has spoken to me. This was our baby. No matter what.

A VERY stressful, tiresome and PRAYERFUL 4 weeks later, we were finally at the specialist for our follow up ultrasound. (Delays due to hospital communication, getting insurance approval, records being lost, scheduling conflicts, etc led to the long wait.) GI Joe and I were so nervous. We were both so nervous and scared for our baby.

The Maternal Fetal Specialist put the transducer on my belly and there he was. Such a beautiful little baby.

They looked around. They tried one position, then another, they searched. The cyst was gone.

Not smaller, not larger, it hadn't moved. It was gone. PRAISE BE TO GOD!!

I looked at my husband and our eyes just welled up. It was incredible. This baby boy was going to be born healthy. God had healed him!

He is our little miracle.

Our little miracle is now 4 months old. And his mama is trying to soak up every last little bit of his babyness while it lasts...

A Few Random Late Night Realizations

1. A big swimming pool is AWESOME in the summer heat. It has kept my big kids busy all day long! Just strap on their floaties and they go to town! I think we swam for 7 hours today. I even got in for a while when Bitty was napping. It keeps the kids from being bored and I am a HUGE fan of outdoor play. It gets the kids away from the TV and allows them for physical play along with the use of their imagination! Today the pool was everything from a volcano to a stage to a far off land to a baptismal font. (Yes, my kids proceeded to baptize each other. LOL)

2. I really really really miss just looking at my husband. I miss just watching GI Joe go about his things he does everyday. Get dressed. Shave. Play with the kids. Put his boots and dogtags on. Smile at me. I just miss being able to look at him. Yes I have pictures, lots and LOTS of pictures, but they aren't the same. I just am missing the guy like crazy.

3. Red onion and sausage pizza at midnight after a long day of swimming and missing your husband is really really very extremely good!

You Wanna Know What Sucks....

...when you haven't talked to your husband in 9 days and then he finally calls at 3:30am, when you have THREE sleeping children in your bed because of an earlier thunderstorm, and you can't talk because you are utterly exhausted, and so he says he will try and call back, and he does 15 hours later, but you are in the car on base, so you have to put him on speaker phone, and you are on your way to Sonic for free root beer float night with the kids, and so you talk to him while ordering through the drive-in and eating said root beer float, and then he talks to the kids after you get home while you are tucking them in and finally, finally finally, when it is your turn to talk, without any interruptions, the cell phone dies.

Yeah, that sucks.

Status Update

Wow I hadn't realized it had been almost a week since I had blogged! I suppose "real" life has caught up with me. I have been actively trying to spend more time with the kids doing fun stuff, rather than studying, homework, housework, etc. So we have been playing outside a lot, riding bikes and going places.

Over Memorial Day weekend, we had an awesome chapel service at the local lake, where about 10 people were baptized. It was so stormy, but God showed His awesomeness again, and allowed the clouds to part for a few hours so the serivce could go on as planned. Even the Chaplain said during the sermon that he was "one of little faith" because he didn;t think we would be able to have the outdoor service with all the severe weather. But it was so beautiful, special and meaningful. And we even had a chance to go swimming in the lake after that for a couple hours. The kids loved it... even Bitty! Poor guy is so chubby he was too big for his brand new 6 month swimsuit and rash guard. So I had to go buy him a TWELVE MONTH one! The boy is only 3 months old! :) And of course I forgot the camera. I know. I have already scolded myself lol!

Then on Monday, the pools on Post opened for the season so we were one of the first families there! We all had a great time! I was suprised at how calm and easy it was with 3 kids by myself sans GI Joe. It was nice because my friend and her 2 kids were there also, so it was nice having another adult there to supervise during potty breaks, nursing Bitty breaks, changing Bitty breaks, etc etc etc.

So I suppose my status is:
-Spending more time with kids(Which will hopefully equal a tan for my pasty legs)
-Algebra OVER! I pulled an A! YEAH!(Now I just need to pass Govt 2...)
-GI Joe doing good. (He needs me to send him large paint brushes to clean his weapon??? lol)
-Kids doing well and getting bigger by the day
-House getting cleaned as soon as I am done with this post because my mom is visiting tomorrow! MUST HAVE HOUSE SPOTLESS. LOL :)

Unquestionable

I spoke with a good friend of mine tonight and she had a bit of a WWYD situation. I won't go into the details, but it was basically about saying no to another friend because 1) she felt uncomfortable about the situation and 2) she felt like God was telling her to say no. She told me that she didn't think the other friend would be understanding about her feeling uncomfortable, and she wasn't sure if she would understand the whole "Well God spoke to me and told me that I shouldn't do this" type of thing. She knew her friend would question her feelings about being uncomfortable, saying she was overreacting, but she wondered if she would question what God told her. She posed a thought-provoking question to me... Can anyone question what God has told you? I mean, someone can question what WE say, or what someONE else has told you. They can say we are overreacting, being silly, crazy, stupid even. But can another person really get upset over what God has spoken to you? It's not like they know what exactly has been spoken between you and God. Or what your relationship with the Lord is like. And we all know that He is without fault, so everything He says is Perfect Truth, no falsehoods. So how can anyone question that or question what you have heard from Him?

This reminds me of a conversation that I once had with GI Joe. He is a very new Christian, a Seeker. And PRAISE GOD for that. If you would have told me a few years ago that I would be attending church with my husband every Sunday(when he is here lol), I wouldn't have believed you. I remember many a Sunday for YEARS of getting myself and the kids up and dressed and heading out to Chapel while GI Joe caught a few more ZZZzzz's. I would ask him every week if he wanted to go, and always let him know how badly I wanted him there. How much I needed him there. A marriage thrives on spiritual continuity between the spouses. But I digress...

GI Joe attends church with me every Sunday. But during the Praise and Worship time, he doesn't sing. And it's not like he doesn't like music. I have caught him many a time jamming out to his iTunes. So I asked him one day after church why he doesn't sing. We got into a big discussion, ahem, about praising the Lord and how important it is. I, being the imperfect one I am, got all over him about the biblical reasons behind his wrongdoing! Well let me just throw stones from my glass house LOL He then gently and lovingly explained to me that no, he wasn't spacing out during those times thinking about the football game on TV later... he said that was his special time to speak with the Lord. Ok God... I WAS CONVICTED!! LOL Ever have those moments?? Insert foot in mouth. The Lord gave me a metaphorical "Booyah! In your face!"

So who are we to question what God has spoken to each other? And for those of you who are reading this thinking... how can I get God to speak to me? ASK HIM! You will be amazed at his response.

My old Pastor once said that he had a lot of people say to him, "God feels so far away." And he would reply, "Well, who moved?" How true that is. God promised us he would NEVER leave us nor forsake us. No matter what we have done, what we have gone through or will go through. He is the same yesterday as He will be tomorrow. And in this crazy chaotic everchanging world that we live in, that is one thing we never have to question. Because when He speaks to us, that is one thing NO ONE can question.

Some Roses are Red, Some Roses are Orange...

I got a package in the mail today from GI Joe. It was my Mother's Day gift, arriving slightly belated. It was 2 dozen orange roses. Beautiful really(except for the fact he also bought me chocolates which turned into one ooey gooey mess in the box in the FedEx truck in the hot Texas sun all day... and if you read my Not Me Monday post, you also know that I came about this close to still eating them lol) and after I rearranged them, they looked great. I used to be a florist way back in my pre-mommyhood days. I knew those random skills would eventually come in handy. As I placed them on the dining table and admire their beautiful orange color, I started wondering...What do orange roses mean?

I know that red signifies romance, yellow is friendship, but what is orange?

So I did some research and here now, for your reading pleasure... everything you ever wanted to know, and more, about various rose colors and what they symbolize.

Rose Colors: The Definitive Reference Guide - From 1-800-Flowers.com

RED-This rose's color symbolizes one thing above all else--love. For hundreds of years people have chosen one color of roses above all others to convey their most heartfelt feelings (experts believe that the red rose first became a symbol of love around 1800). When the message you want to send is "I love you," it's always red roses. So for occasions like Valentine's Day and a wedding anniversary, there is simply no other option.

WHITE-If you're looking for a flower that's the right fit for a bride at her wedding, the right rose colors are white. The same reason the bride wears white is the same reason the roses are white. This flower symbolizes purity above all else. Keeping with this, white is also the appropriate color rose for a confirmation or any occasion celebrating a new beginning.

YELLOW-Yellow is perhaps the color rose with the most diverse history of meanings. Over the centuries, they have been given to convey everything from "welcome home" to jealousy, of all things. Today, however, rose colors in any and all shades of yellow embody friendship more than anything else. Best friends, new friends, old friends--they will all understand your message of everlasting friendship when you send yellow roses.

ORANGE-If you're fired up about something or someone, orange color roses will let them know. Enthusiasm and desire are the primary meanings of orange roses. And while colors like red and white may symbolize everlasting love and pure love, respectively, it's orange that says burning love. However, as with most rose colors, there are other occasions where orange is the right fit; Halloween, for example, and to express feelings of admiration or pride in another.

PURPLE-Purple, or lavender, color roses are just right for love at first sight. Purple has long been associated with passion, luxury, and even magic, which makes this rose's color just right for expressing all the enchantment that only new love delivers. Additionally, purple represents royalty, so if you want to make someone feel like a queen, there may be no better rose.

PINK-While yellow may be the color rose with the most diverse history of meanings--though today, they primarily mean friendship--it's playful pink roses that have the most diverse meanings today. Admiration, appreciation, joy, thanks--roses in any shades of pink say it all. There is a happiness conveyed by pink rose colors that is simply undeniable and always appropriate.

PEACH-While appearing only subtly different from orange roses, peach color roses send an entirely different meaning. Typically, peach colored roses are sent to communicate appreciation, sincerity and gratitude. They're ideal for business gifts or as gifts for Teacher's Day, for example.

So, GI Joe has a hunk-a-hunk of burning love for me, does he? How many more months do we have left of this deployment??? He better hurry his little booty on home to me ;)

And I love the *disclaimer* they place at the bottom of the page:

Remember: when you send roses, you're not just sending flowers. You're sending a message, and the rose color your choose can greatly and easily impact your message. We hope our guide will help you send the exact message you want your flowers to convey.

Ah, words to live by...

A Conversation with GI Joe

I got to talk to GI Joe today online. It was nice because lately he has been going on all sorts of missions that occupy a lot of his time, and then in his downtime, he is always so exhausted. So it was really nice to "hear" from him today.

As we were about ready to sign off, I reminded him that today used to be our special day. 11 years ago, we were talking on the phone late at night(shhh don't tell my parents I was up late talking to him lol). He asked me to be his girlfriend. So cute huh? I remember it like it was yesterday, yet it seems so long ago at the same time. Funny how that happens.

Well, GI Joe then said, no, it was ME who asked him out. Oh uh-uh. I did no such thing! I am a lady, for goodness sakes! ;) The conversation then went like this:

GI Joe: Well, you are the one that called me first.
Me: Well yeah, but not that conversation, you had called me.
Gi Joe: Well the first time we talked, you called me.
Me: Well yeah, I got your number from M(my BFF.) I thought you were cute. So sue me. lol
GI Joe: Nah, I'm married to you. That wouldn't work.
GI Joe: You stalked me.
Me: Oh I did, did I? So you like stalkers?
GI Joe: Only the pretty ones.

♥